It’s Cycle to Work day today. Did you know that? Did you cycle? Did you? Did you?
Your antidepressants might be messing with your skin
I did. (Regretted it every pedal stroke because hello, there’s a right wind whip out there, bit dangerous, hey.)
I really like cycling. I get made fun of for cycling. But I would rather cycle 10 miles to work than get the tube because I hate human beings and also public transport is expensive.
Plus, I get my exercise out of the way on my commute – it couldn’t make any more sense.
Instead of rolling out of bed feeling like I’ve been exhumed and then carrying that feeling with me all day, I get to slap the tiredness out of me by jumping on my bike and creating all these wonderful endorphins that are brimming around me like fireflies when I get to work.
So, I encourage you to do the same, dear reader, and if you’d be so kind as to give me your hand, I will guide you on your merry way.
Find a bike that’s the right size for you
This is important. I can tell you from experience that riding a bike that’s too big for you will result in a hunched, bad back. It’s like Quasimodo up in here.
I bought a secondhand bike from a store in the outskirts of London and while it was light and fast and looked beauts, the man who sold it to me was a snake and lied when he said it fitted me.
I asked Alex from the The Hackney Peddler for some tips because they are the only bike shop I trust my steed with.
‘In terms of sizing, say you’re getting a traditional bike with a top tube, you want to be able to stand over the bike with your feet flat on the floor, with a couple of inches between you and the top of the frame,’ Alex told metro.co.uk.
‘This is so if you do come off the bike quickly, you won’t slam onto the frame, which no-one wants.
‘From that point, you should be able to sit on the saddle with your tip toes on the floor, ideally if the pedal is right at the bottom and you’re sitting on the saddle, you should be able to have a straight leg and the heel on the pedal.
‘You can get away with riding a bike that’s too small or big, but it’s not ideal.’
Damn right, it’s not ideal. Invest in a decent bike first time around – and don’t scrimp if you’ll be riding that bad boy every day.
‘There’s a spectrum of quality and you get what you pay for,’ says Alex. ‘If you’re going to be riding it every day, it’s worth chucking a few quid at so you get something that’s nice to ride and not a chore.’
See if your company offers the Cycle to Work scheme, which lets you get a bike (and accessories) tax-free, and it comes out of your salary each month.
Consider a cycling proficiency course
A lot of my friends in London refuse to cycle because they’re afraid – and they have every right to be, it’s a dangerous world out there – but it’s better to face that fear and go on a cycle proficiency course.
TFL offer them free of charge in London (I mean, it’s in their interests to keep you from slipping under the wheels of a Routemaster), otherwise British Cycling offers Bikeability courses to give you all the basics you need to be confident on the road.
British Cycling also have videos you can swot up on from the comfort of your home, teaching you stuff like where to position yourself on the road, how to negotiate roundabouts and how to deal with hazards on the road.
And if you’re not able to indicate with your arm without wobbling? Practise somewhere safe until you can. Jesus.
Get a decent helmet
No-one looks good in a bike helmet – absolutely no-one.
That hottie who works at the bike shop? He looks sh*t. That girl you see flying down the hill on her road bike every morning? Absolute lame-o.
But you know what will suit you less than a bike helmet? Brain damage.
Wearing a helmet reduces your risk of serious injury by almost 70%, so it’s a no-brainer.
Yes, you get sweaty hair, yes, you look like a total tool, but c’mon – however carefully you cycle, you can’t control what other road users are doing around you, and any one of these could make you come off your bike and smash your skull on the tarmac.
I came off my bike without a helmet back when I was a vain young whipper snapper and luckily, I landed on my chin, but it shook me into putting a helmet on every time I got on my wheels.
Ones that look the least lame IMHO include Bern, the Bell BMX ones and this chic, collapsible one.
Plan your route
It will be very hit and miss for your first few goes – leave super early as chances are you will get lost.
A couple of cycle route planners to try are Cycle Streets and good old Google Maps, although neither are perfect. I have one ear bud in so the Google Maps lady can tell me where I’m going on unknown routes, and she’s a confusing little b*tch sometimes, and often likes to make a 15 minute detour mid-journey. Such a love-hate relationship, that one.
The best way is to sit down, study a load of maps, decide if you want a scenic or a fast route, and then try a load out, as you can’t tell from a map where there’s heavy traffic/terrifying junctions.
So just get out there and give it a go.
Invest in a reflective, waterproof jacket
Don’t be one of those cyclists who ditches their ride at the chance of rain.
Get some waterproofs and get over it. You can change at work, y’know?
Most luminous jackets are also incredibly sweaty but better sweaty than dead, I say. I think that’s also a popular Instagram quote, but not sure. Anyway, in the winter, one of these is an absolute must.
Earlier this year, we reviewed a load of reflective, waterproof jackets – check them out here.
Get some blinding lights
It’s getting to that time of year that night starts to fall quicker than a drunkard at Wetherspoons.
So you need some decent lights of that ride of yours.
I’ve had my Knog Boomer bike lights for years – they’re great as they’re super portable, super bright (I can see them reflecting off road signs way in the distance) and are rechargeable via USB, which is the dream really.
They don’t sell my particular ones anymore but it looks like they’ve been replaced by the Knog Blinder, which are also USB rechargeable.
Learn to zen the f*ck out
Car drivers will pull out without looking. Other cyclists will cut you up without looking. Pedestrians will cross the road without looking. (Shout out to the woman who stepped out in front of me, sent me flying, then walked off, leaving me lying on the floor.)
This will all contribute to a very angry you.
Plus, many road users hate cyclists and will try and piss you off on purpose.
Don’t let them.
I used to call an average of four people a ‘c*nt’ on my commute (one way), but it’s got down to an average of around 0.5 now, as I realised that other people don’t care if I’m angry. Half the time they haven’t even noticed you’re there and have no idea they almost killed you. So take a deep breath and carry on.
The only person your anger is affecting is you, so think of nice things like puppies and holidays and what you’re going to have for tea.
Trust me, go cycle, it’s wheely fun.
Plus, it’s better for the environment, you’ll get super fit and you’ll have a pretty much guaranteed journey time once you’ve nailed your route.
If you need any more encouragement, my 60-year-old father has recently taken up cycling to work and he says: “It really wakes me up.”
That’s that, then.
Good luck, my friends.
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