As long as the world has gone nuts — as long as common sense and common decency have become increasingly devalued — perhaps it’s time to toss in the towel. Maybe it’s time to give the other side a shot, to pander a la “Good Investments” Roger Goodell: bad is good, worse is even better.
For small example, late Sunday night’s Mets-Bucs on ESPN included a show and tell of how Pirates’ starter Tyler Glasnow has tattoos in unusual places, including — well, lookee there! — inside his lower lip!
Jessica Mendoza, unless she was ESPN-style pandering, thought that what likely struck many as an absolutely ridiculous permanent self-vandalization, made it clear to a national audience she considers that just great!
Her boothmates in right field, Dan Shulman and Aaron Boone, said nothing to the contrary, thus we were left to surmise they agreed. So I’m in, too. Burning words into the inside of your lower lip is great!
Why was ESPN’s trio seated in right? I don’t know. But, adhering to its steady game plan to show that ESPN’s presence is why we watch — or try to watch — ESPN often and needlessly showed them, once as they wore baseball gloves in case a ball came their way. Hilarious! Entertaining!
The new me: ESPN did another great job of shorting another game, although I missed the last inning to involuntary sleep, the game ending near 11:30.
There were tons of empty seats in Pittsburgh for a team and game that usually draws well, especially on Sundays. Perhaps that’s because MLB sold ESPN the muscle to start it at 8:10. But MLB knows what it’s doing, so I’m good with that, too.
Cris Carter continues to mentor me-first brat Odell Beckham Jr., who often engages in lengthy, “spontaneous fun celebrations [of himself],” rehearsed skits of immodesty that Goodell now encourages as good for the game. I’m great with that, as well.
Previous Carter mentoring beneficiaries included Vikings teammate Randy Moss, whose continued post-mentoring selfish, antisocial behavior made him the most talented expendable WR in NFL history. Cool! Moss since was hired by FOX then ESPN. Double cool!
Carter, while with ESPN, mentored NFL rookies, advising them to pay off pals to take the rap for them after they’ve been arrested. Good, practical advice.
Beckham, who last season jetted to Miami with now-ex-teammate Victor Cruz to romp with Justin Bieber prior to a playoff game in Green Bay, is still mentored by Carter. With Beckham’s teammates practicing here, Carter worked with Beckham in Los Angeles. Beckham also worked with, of all good choices, Johnny Manziel, football’s legally adult version of Nelson Muntz, in Los Angeles, instead of in New Jersey with Eli Manning.
While Carter may be more in need of mentoring than his students, he remains a FOX NFL analyst. That FOX would allow Carter such a relationship with a player he’s assigned to address on-air — especially a noted cool fool as Beckham — is a broadcast journalism development that, well … well, I think is just great!
Broadcast journalism? TV-charmer Alex Rodriguez, a proven, persistent liar whose stardom was predicated on illegal drug use that led to his suspension for the 2014 season, appears headed for ABC News — and will remain a FOX baseball analyst.
It’s not as if ABC News doesn’t know Rodriguez’s history. Still, he meets with a national news division’s credibility standards. Fabulous!
Mike Francesa, such an ardent patriot he fabricated a tale about the Pentagon contacting him for advice, Friday recognized Memorial Day by inviting on decorated ex-Navy Seal Rob O’Neill, known to have been part of the team that offed Osama bin Laden.
Of course, Francesa didn’t allow him to complete an answer before interrupting him, destroying both the interview and Francesa’s stated reason for O’Neill’s presence.
Also, Friday, Francesa abused a caller who suggested the Mets call up pitcher Tyler Pill. Francesa repeatedly hollered — he tends to repeat himself — that if Pill were any good he’d have already been called up.
But Francesa was again betrayed by his imaginary inside sources; Pill had been called up hours before.
If consistency is the mark of greatness, Francesa is overqualified; he’s the greatest! Love the guy!
The Yankees stayed their sponsorship of the Puerto Rican Day Parade despite its honored guest, with Mayor de Blasio’s blessings, being a criminal, a former top operative in FALN, a murderous terrorist organization responsible for over 100 bombings, including one in Lower Manhattan’s historic Fraunces Tavern that killed four innocents.
The Yanks didn’t seem moved about that truth until some corporate sponsors, including Goya Foods, and organizations, such as the NYPD’s Hispanic Society, pulled out. Having waited to see to see which way the wind blew, the Yanks cancelled.
Not at all courageous or convincing, but in a world gone nuts you can’t help but admire such caution! Hey, I’ve seen the light; it’s all good!
Hearing and disappearing
Perhaps because it was Memorial Day and the national anthem was delayed for the marching presentation of colors, Monday’s Yanks-O’s radio had exhausted its long reel of pregame commercials, thus opened to the now unusual sound of the anthem, heard in full. Thus, for one game, the sounds of shameless greed were avoided.
However, Brewers-Mets on WOR Radio, despite Wayne Randazzo’s pregame during which Jay Bruce testified to the sanctity of Memorial Day, couldn’t find time for the anthem, only its sponsorship.
To hear the anthem on Yankees and Mets’ radio, these days, is accidental; we only hear the name of the commercial sponsor of the anthem you didn’t hear.
There was a slip-up, Wednesday, as Yankees radio returned from commercials a bit early, to hear the late Robert Merrill sing the last three words of the national anthem, “of the brave!”
Suzyn Waldman then dutifully identified the performer and the commercial sponsor of the anthem, in this case, its last three words.
Double-standard Esiason
Disappointed that Weekday Boomer Esiason didn’t sustain the courage of his convictions by claiming that the kid in the stands injured by a shattered bat, Wednesday in Yankee Stadium, got what he deserved.
Two years ago a woman was smashed in the head by then-Cub Starlin Castro’s straight-back foul ball as she took her seat behind the backstop in Pittsburgh. The ball hit the screen so hard the screen compressed; the woman was nailed, went down and was rushed to a hospital. The video still causes gasps.
But Esiason, in his WFAN morning drive remorseless wise-guy mode, ridiculed the woman, claiming it was her fault “for not paying attention.” Same with that kid in the Stadium on Wednesday, eh, Boomer?
