WASHINGTON — According to the Capital Weather Gang, Washington, D.C. has received measurable rain (at least .01 inches) every day for 15 consecutive days. This is unprecedented weather for the district, which since 1871 has witnessed no more than 10 consecutive days of precipitation (on separate occasions in 1938 and 1873).
This fact, combined with the Capitals’ dramatic exit from the playoffs, has a very retributive and karmic feel to it. Could it all be related to sporting mishap?
Here are four possible sports explanations for why the sun no longer shines in the nation’s capital, one for each of D.C.’s major professional sports franchises:
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1. The Capitals Advance: That reads like a sad typo now, but on April 27, the Caps were preparing for the Eastern Conference semifinals after disposing of the Philadelphia Flyers. The series with Philly was full of big hits and hurt feelings, but it seems unlikely that the sports gods would actually cheer for Philly.
2. Wizards Talk About Kevin Durant: The first rule about Kevin Durant’s direction in free agency is that you don’t talk about Kevin Durant’s direction in free agency. So leave it D.C. sports personality Mike Wise to address the elephant in the room, asking it of new Wizards head coach Scott Brooks. His answer: “Thanks, Mike. I’m surprised it took six questions.” Brooks didn’t and couldn’t address the team’s offseason strategy, particularly with regards to a player still employed by another team. Perhaps the sports gods punished Brooks for dodging the question.
3. Redskins sign Josh Norman: Sure, his deal was finalized on April 22, a full five days before the rain streak began. But his deal came together so quickly–with the Redskins sending the owner’s personal jet to retrieve Norman–perhaps it surprised even the sports gods. Why would the sports god be angered by the signing? Perhaps general manager Scot McCloughan did abandon his master plan in order to facilitate the deal. Only time will tell.
4. Bryce Compared to Barry: Barry Bonds could hit the baseball a long way before he ever took performance enhancing drugs. Unfortunately, the latter will be his enduring legacy, making comparisons like Brian Kenny’s rather cringeworthy. It was just the first in a series of “kiss of death” moments for the young Nats star: Tim Kurkjian said Harper could develop into one of the best batters of all time. Commissioner Rob Manfred described Harper as the voice of his generation. Now, Harper can’t get a pitcher to face him and will likely serve that one-game suspension for taking out his frustrations on the umpire. Maybe the sports gods don’t want baseball to be fun again.
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Was it one of these seemingly routine sports moments that brought the wrath of the D.C. sports gods? Or perhaps a belated cosmic tribute to the death of Prince? Or even a foreshadowing of Election 2016? We may never know, but one thing is certain: the dreary weather shows no sign of letting up until Sunday.
Did we miss anything? Have a better DC sports themed explanation for the rain? Let us know in the comments below.
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